.

the way I see myself, is honestly in a very strange way. I've changed immensely and I have wonderful friends and a boyfriend who love me! so, here's the thing, why is it that no matter how much people reassure me I still feel below them and inadequate? It's incredibly odd because not only is it personality, its physical attributes as well. I don't care what other people think about me, but of what I think of myself. Its so odd, because generally people care about what others think and think highly or higher of themselves. It's human nature, that statement was of course not meant to say that anyone I know is narcissistic or full of themselves, it's just how it goes. this was just a thought that happened to pass through my full and puzzled mind at the moment.

on another note, I have to go in for a seven and a half hour shift at work today and I'm kind of dreading it. mind you, I always dread going to work and it never ends up being that bad. sometimes it just goes by sooooo slooowwwlllyyyyy because of all the pick up and such. people really do dump on winners and it's so sad, I never realized before I worked there how much effort, hard work, energy, and time went into keeping the store the way it is. and I know it looks like a tornado hit it sometimes, but know that it was just cleaned five minutes before. hahaha oh well, that's life.

I'm contemplating getting sushi today because I haven't had it in a week and I feel like I'm going through relapse. Sushi is my cigarette. honestly. it's pathetic hahaha. oh well, AKARI HERE I COME! anddd it fits in with my gluten/sugar-free diet that I've started again, and I've already lost 9 pounds. I always let myself go during the summer because well lets face it, it's summer! I just know I've slipped a bit and I don't feel great but that's all changing now :)

well, we'll see what the day brings and if work is really as bad as I'm dreading it will be.